ACT I
Scene 1
A woman sits alone in a room saying "I love you" to herself
several times, as though she's trying it on for size. As she's doing
this, David appears in the doorway.
Karen
I love you.
(David walks into the room.)
DAvid
That's a pretty bold statement.
KAREN
Oh, I didn't know you were there.
DAVID
I'm sorry. Don't let me interrupt.
Karen
What I meant to say was, I think I love you.
DAVID
Your commitment doth wane, fair maiden.
KAREN
I mean, I definitely like you.
DAVID
I like you.
KAREN
It's just that, with the world the way it is today...
DAVID
Corrupt politicians, worldwide turmoil...
KAREN
Blood in the streets...
DAVID
You're saying it's tough to make a commitment.
KAREN
Love is such a loaded word.
DAVID
So much implied.
KAREN
Exactly.
DAVID
Love first, second marriage...
KAREN
Karen & David in a baby carriage...
DAVID
I feel claustrophobic already.
KAREN
And I don't even like children.
DAVID
I do.
KAREN
Really?
DAVID
Fricassee 'em with a side of butter sauce... very tasty.
KAREN
I suppose it really is all about the preparation.
DAVID
Goes without saying.
KAREN
I've always loved that about you.
DAVID
What's that?
KAREN
Your sense of humor.
DAVID
Who said I was joking?
KAREN
David, it's just that I'm afraid.
DAVID
The truth, revealed...
KAREN
My whole life has been about running from commitment.
All about not accepting responsibility.
DAVID
And you like it that way?
KAREN
It's what I know. It's a part of who I am.
DAVID
Karen, commitment terrifies me too. 'Wake up in the
middle of the night in a cold sweat type' of scared. Hell, I have trouble
deciding what color t-shirt to wear...
KAREN
I think you look good in black.
DAVID
See, that's what I mean. On the one hand you're right
because, you know, black is very slimming... but on the other hand blue has
been very good to me.
KAREN
You were wearing blue when I first met you.
DAVID
I'd forgotten that.
KAREN
Actually it was more of a teal, now that I think about it.
DAVID
I own a teal shirt?
KAREN
Yes, it was a teal Twisted Sister t-shirt.
DAVID
Was I in any way trying to be ironic?
KAREN
Actually, no. You went to great lengths to convince me
that Dee Snyder was a rock-n-roll god and that 80's hair metal saved your life.
DAVID
It was a dark time indeed.
KAREN
I remember this because it was our first date.
DAVID
You always remember the little things.
KAREN
It's the little things that give life it's flavor.
DAVID
That's one of the things I love about you.
KAREN
How so?
DAVID
I love that you'd remember that I have a teal t-shirt.
I love that you even know when to use the word "teal". I love that you not only
forgave me for liking 80's hair bands, but you actually decided to go out with
me a second time.
KAREN
You were quite charming that first night.
DAVID
Tell me more...
KAREN
You were just so innocent and so open. You let me in.
DAVID
I quoted verses from Hamlet.
KAREN
You quoted verses from Hamlet... in Klingon.
DAVID
And I am here to tell you, there aren't a lot of people who can do that.
(in Kingon)
tlhIngan maH! Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam! (We are Kingons! Today is a
good day to die!)
KAREN
David, if I told you that I loved you... if I said it and
really meant it, what would that mean to you?
DAVID
I guess it would mean that we were both committed to each other. That we know how we both feel about each other. I guess it would mean that we'd be like all the other people out there who love each other. We'd get up, we'd go to work...We'd go to Scorpions reunion concerts... we'd fricassee babies and enjoy them with a light butter sauce...
KAREN
David, I'm being serious
DAVID
So am I. Karen, I love you. That really should be
all that matters.
KAREN
I don't think you really understand what love means, David.
What it means to me. I don't think you realize how far you'd have to go
to give back the love I'd give to you if I said "I love you" and really meant
it. It's so much beyond "for richer or poorer", or "love, honor and hold"
for me.
DAVID
I'm up for the challenge.
KAREN
This isn't a game.
DAVID
It's not a game for me.
KAREN
Because if I say "I love you", then you have to promise me
that you'll love me back, and that you'll never ever go back on that.
DAVID
I promise.
KAREN
No matter what ever happens, you have to make sure that you
remember this day, this moment.
DAVID
I'll remember. I swear.
KAREN
Then David, I do love you. And yes, I'll marry you.
(David and Karen embrace. Lights fade to black.)