Seth's Monologue

Seth

You know anything about pigeons?

Robert

No, not really.

SETH

Ever walk down the street and have a pigeon peck away at seeds and such right in front of your feet? You can walk right up to that pigeon and it'll wait until the absolute last minute before it moves outta the way. Even then, it'll only move just enough to miss getting stepped on.

Robert

What's your point?

Seth

My point is that I think pigeons spend their whole lives watching people. They fly around, they shit on everything in sight, but what they're really doing is watching you and me. They've studied us. They think they've got it all figured out. Based on our behavior, they've decided that you and I are as gentle as lambs. See, most people pay those pigeons no mind, so those birds have learned to take the path of least resistance to their next meal. Why bother flying away when you see a hulking man-beast lumber along? They've decided that you and I would never go out of our way to hurt a poor little pigeon.

"What about kids?", you might say... "They chase birds all the time...". But see, children are mostly slow and usually stupid and over time the birds have figured this out. Besides, kids make so much damn noise that a bird'll fly away more out of annoyance than fear.

99 times out of a 100 folks'll never pay 'em any mind. But see there's something that pigeon don't know.

What that bird has failed to reconcile in it's tiny little pigeon brain is the fact that though 99 folks out of a 100 never pay 'em any mind, there's always that one person who'll go out of his way to step on that bird and break it's poor little pigeon back.

Why do it? That's the thing a bird, or a pigeon or even most people can't ever get their head around.

I'll do it because I can. I'll do it because damnit... sometimes it just feels like the thing to do. And it feels pretty darn good.